Jupiter Ascending” took the road less traveled, into the wish-fulfillment of prepubescent girls. Around half an hour into the film, Channing Tatum despondently regales Mila Kunis with his life story — he is the orphaned half-albino runt of a space werewolf litter forced to use anti-gravity rollerblades to fly because his bionic wings were stripped when he was dishonorably discharged from the space military — and something magical happens. Every woman who ever wrote herself into her favorite universe via fanfic, every girl who created an amnesiac elven vampire princess and role-played in a chat room, every chick who ever wanted a blaster by her side and a submissive werewolf boyfriend at her back, every one l of them whispered, “Finally. It is our time.