Shakespeare, but every instance of “alas” has been replaced with “aw shit”
“Aw shit, poor Yorick!”
-Hamlet, Act 5 Scene 1
“Aw shit, that love, so gentle in his view,
Should be so tyrannous and rough in proof!“
-Romeo & Juliet, Act 1 Scene 1
“O, no! Aw shit, I rather hate myself
For hateful deeds committed by myself.”
-Richard III, Act 5 Scene 3
“Aw shit, poor country, almost afraid to know itself! It cannot be called our mother, but our grave.”
Macbeth, Act 4 Scene 3
“Aw shit, thou hast misconstrued everything!”
Julius Caesar, Act V Scene 3
In which our professor nearly chokes on his morning coffee.
In spite of your heart, I think; aw shit, poor heart!
Much Ado About Nothing, Act V, Scene 2