yeah this Conan remake can’t hold a candle to the original. The original has its issues but it’s still got a perfect balance of swords and ‘can you believe this shit’ and Basil Poledouris’ unmatched score to kick it all off (so good it was reused sampled by Goldsmith in Total Recall’s opener). The action feels muddy honestly I had trouble hearing some of the dialogue (and the subs I had were ridiculous felt like it had been translated to a foreign language and back via google translate). 

And you can’t beat James Earl Jones as Thulsa Doom.

sorry Jason, you were nice to look at but this was mostly garbo.