No two ways about it, I was going to have to try the desperate option of a hopeless man. I was going to have to read the manual.

Naturally, the manual turned out to have been translated from Japanese into English by a Kalahari bushman whose closest contact with either language had been a chance encounter with a German explorer trying to ascertain the going barter rate for a second-hand camel in terms of petroleum and shiny beads.

Rob Grant, Incompetence