Jim Holden & Amos Burton “A Shot in the Dark” & “The One-Eyed Man”
always-tilting-at-windmills
Catatonic regressing Amos is helpless and *feels* useless….all the detachment & compartmentalism gone…*poof*…his purpose his motivation…his drive is to he useful…to be (or be perceived) as indestructible. His value & self-worth hinge on that. His survival skills hinge on that.
So, Holden’s, “I can’t loose you” ….is EVERYTHING.
It is something that reaches Amos. Because subconsciously he knows that is true. Amos is lost within himself and overwhelmed by those consequences. What he *feels* is just manic. An unsolvable rubix cube. Amos is lost in the puzzle because he shouldn’t “feel” fear. He thought he lost that when he was five years old. But, now it’s back and he’s as inexperienced trying to manage it as he would have been back then.
But, Holden’s pov is crystal clear.
James BROADCAST EMOTIONS Holden.
Amos doesn’t understand himself but he understands Holden. He doesn’t see himself as having self worth, until reflected into Holden’s sense of worth for him. Holden needs him.
That gives him purpose. Amos knows Holden’s heart is on his sleeve, broadcasting to the solar system, jumping in head first, pressing all the buttons. Holden gotta Holden.
And Holden can’t loose him. So, Amos can hold on, because he will do anything for Holden. And right now what Cap wants, what he needs is for him to hold on.
😍😭
