secretsbest

 

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

not-xdanimalx

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

distastefortruth

this is the best oh my god

haylyeah

Every morning! CLEAR!!! STAND BY TO NUTELLA THIS BITCH!!!

istoleatime-lord

spockvarietyhour

 WANT