"Hey, we’re rebooting Spider-Man. You think we should bring back the character that was universally beloved and enjoyed in the old movies? We are Sony, after all, the exact same company that did the exact same thing for Judi Dench in the Daniel Craig James Bonds."
"Hmmm… no, let’s leave that out so we can have more scenes of Peter Parker moping and listening to Coldplay while he puts together Carrie Matheson Walls of Corkboard Crazy."
"So the new Peter Parker won’t work at the Daily Bugle?"
"Oh, no, he will, but we’ll just leave out the funny, entertaining scenes where he goes there and talks to characters the audience likes in favor of—"
"Coldplay! Yes, brilliant! Now, what should we do with the love interest who everyone likes and whose chemistry with Peter Parker everyone enjoys watching?"








