So here’s a ridiculous, semi-nsft Disco Elysium fic for you all bc I’ve been thinking about That One Dialogue Exchange for three straight days and I’m foaming at the mouth. Enjoy! Harry Du Bois / Kim Kitsuragi, M, a little over 1k

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YOU - “Kim, holy FUCK,” you proclaim as you kick the door open, strolling confidently down the steps into the garage.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant rolls out from under the Kineema and looks at you, upside down. He’s sweating and his face and sleeves are streaked with grease. He frowns at you.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Normal: Success] - He’s already laid the wiring for the helium headlights and got distracted. They’re lying partially disassembled on his workbench. The lieutenant left the shotgun door cracked- ‘First We Take Manhattan’ is playing on the stereo. That means he’s here for a good time, not for work.

SHIVERS [Normal: Success] - The garage door is open, admitting a sour-sweet wind off the shore that catches dry leaves in the cracks between concrete and asphalt. The sun is low in the sky and a sweet, watery yellow, like thin lemonade. On the other side of the city, someone has parked their car in a loading zone. The tow truck’s lights flash slow and silent as the car is lifted, tilted, and locked into place.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Are you… alright?” says the lieutenant, looking you up and down. Or rather, down and up, as he hasn’t sat up on the roller.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Now’s your chance. He doesn’t suspect a *thing*.

1. “Never better, baby! Guess what’s different about me!”
2. “So, anal beads, amirite?”
3. “Can I borrow your cuffs? I dropped mine in the guppy tank.”
4. “Do the fuck on me.”

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