because Riker ate too many bean burritos at his birthday party and just pushed this planet’s gas levels over the edge.

They really just wanted to play X-Files Torches. I think I remember reading (I hope it’s true because I really like the idea) that when they made the pilot of The X-Files, the torches with the super high-power cool-looking beams were the most expensive props on the set.

I do remember for TNG that those torches were actually powered by a battery pack on their back (like a mike) the cord runs through their uniform sleeve.

They seem like such impractical torches, too, because you can only hold them one way and they would be really difficult to prop up somewhere. And you definitely couldn’t hold one with your teeth in order to have both your hands free to fix Data’s brain or something.

One of those awkward cases of ‘this commonplace object needs to be  different because we’re in the future, even if the redesign actually makes it less practical or convenient.’

The future: where you have to push a button and wait to open your own damn underwear drawer.

The Hotel Enterprise: Everything’s White and Pink and Pastel and OMG how do you open these drawers I can even get properly hammered on this syntehol and there’s always a line at the holodeck and when you do get it Moriarty’s trying to kill you and seems like every other days this damn hotel shakes and WTF’s with this bald cranky Maitre’D and this weird guy and that weird guy and this weird hostess who can read my thoughts and the bearded bellhop that gives me the # to the single ladies on staff that he’s already rated on his myspace and motherfuck who brings their son to live with them at the hotel for four years, you’re a paramedic for crying out loud I’m never coming back here AGAIN!!!