ok from what i can tell, the mcdonalds stabbing was NOT a szechuan stabbing, but just a regular mcdonalds stabbing. it was a fight between 2 employees and no articles i read mentioned a sauce altercation 

Just a regular McDonald’s Stabbing™️

Classic Who except every time someone gets thrown in prison the plot moves slower.

Classic Who except every time there’s a corridor they run faster.

Classic Who except every time someone orders their minions to kill the Doctor, they actually do it

Classic Who except every time the set wobbles the image gets warped .05%

PROBLEM:
-THE TRUMP TEAM NEEDS TO FILL 3,000 VACANCIES IN THE NEXT TWO MONTHS.

WHOA, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN??
-they assumed the white house staff would be sticking around, because they never watched “the west wing” and also because they are GRADE A FUCKSTICKS WITH THE INTELLIGENCE OF DEAD PRAWNS, and thus not only do they not have policy papers written, they are also lacking an actual body of qualified staffers ready to slot into white house and related positions
-they have bupkis, frankly
-whole lotta nothing

SOLUTION:
-THEY HAVE PLACED AN OPEN CALL FOR STAFF APPLICATIONS ON THEIR WEBSITE

THAT’S NOT… VERY WEIRD, RIGHT? PEOPLE APPLIED TO WORK FOR OBAMA ONLINE
-yeah, and the website looked like this
-trump’s call for applications is a trainwreck. i assume it was written by one of trump’s three adult goblins. look at this paragraph:

“You will be asked fill out a Personal Data Statement if you are considered for a specific position. You will be asked about possible conflicts of interest… organization[s] which you belong or once belonged; speeches you may have given… legal, administrative and regulatory proceedings to which you may have been a party; in short, anything that might embarrass the President or you if he should choose you for a position in his administration…… If Senate confirmation is required for the position you are nominated for, the Senate committee that reviews those nominations may ask you to provide additional information.“ 

WAIT…. WHAT??
-just a little casual there, guys, huh? like…. the whole thing makes it sound like they don’t have a vetting team ready to go. it makes it feel like there’s no solid recruitment team or strategy in place and…
-oh my God, wait a second
-doesn’t that sound kind of like they’re asking people to vet themselves?
-maybe because they are so WOEFULLY, CATASTROPHICALLY SHORT-HANDED??????
-pun intended

WHAT DOES ALL THIS MEAN, ORANGE??
-well, i’m glad you asked, it could mean a lot of things
-firstly: i wouldn’t trust these sloppy motherfuckers to staff a lemonade stand
-secondly: like, YOU could go WORK FOR TRUMP, probably. they are mass-hiring, like a new denny’s franchise. like eight new denny’s franchises clustered around a single interstate exit, shivering in terror. is your head firmly affixed to your body? are you carbon-based?? they badly need people with those qualifications
-thirdly: it may also, eventually, mean that the trump white house is going to produce an unheard-of metric fuckton of personnel scandals in its first year, since there’s no voluntary, self-reporting “are you a serial murderer” box to tick
-also, do they not understand that people are going to apply just to fuck with them??? and waste their time???
-i don’t recommend it, honestly. i personally will not be submitting any private information to the trump team even as an obstructionist joke, because they are terrifying anti-semitic racist garbage-fucking hate trolls. i wouldn’t voluntarily give them the address of a shoe store. but if you choose to step up and play the game, have fun and be yourselves*

*technically you can be anyone you want, they DON’T APPEAR TO HAVE A VETTING TEAM YET

THERE’S NO USER LOGIN AND YOU CAN APPLY TO BE IN THE DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE

i’ve seen applications/screenings for minimum wage jobs that were 200% more intense than this