William “DTF” Riker

Someone: Looks like there’s an opening for an exchange officer on this ship full of generally hostile and war-like aliens.

Riker: RAD PICK ME

Someone: Oh shit this alien parasite will die unless we put it in a person.

Riker: I VOLUNTEER MY TAUT WELL-SEXED BODY

Someone: This traditional alien dish is made out of poop from a butt.

Riker: SERVE ME UP A SECOND HELPING YOU FUCKING COWARDS