buffygiles
abitnotgoodyeah
spiceweasel
sneakydeaky
spockandhiskillerbriefcase
Pfft, this fire pattern. The phaser beams shouldn’t be able to coalesce on their target. Are we supposed to believe that this is the work of some kind of magical prism? Worst. Pew pew. Ever.
#Star Trek #I #demand #SENSE #give me answers Danny!
Yeah, explain this one, Danny.
Fine! Years ago the Federation discovered a planet endlessly bountiful in tiny little faeries. These faeries are ground up into a fine pulp and carried in two vats marked Faerie dust. These vats are connected to the phasers so that when they fire they can fire exactly as they’re needed, if that means they refract, coalesce, or even disintegrate someone, SO BE IT.
Oh, well that makes perfect, logical sense of course. How did I not think of that.
Oh, well, isn’t that dandy. Lemme just go flush the goddamn Prime Directive down the stinkin’ toilet.
I’ll let you in on a secret. The Prime Directive was written by a bunch of angry trees posing as Starfleet admirals. Believe or not but a tree’s held office as Federation President since its beginning. Ever read the damn thing? It includes clauses like “And there shall be sapling and root aboard each ship” that’s not about arboretums. Those are spies.