half of tumblr: Age of Ultron SUCKED!

other half of tumblr: Age of Ultron wAS AMAZING!

okay so just to preface, this is probably going to be like two thousand words of various iterations of ‘??????’ that can be summed up with this picture:

so if you’re still going to click the read more, you’ve been warned.

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OK so now that I’ve had a chance to cool off and get some perspective, here’s the main reason I left Age of Ultron really pissed off at Joss Whedon (spoilers under the cut)

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like, watch me be extra salty about this

you can rationalize that monster scene all you want - and you might even make a very compelling argument. but the thing people take issue with isn’t with NATASHA for saying that she’s a monster (which is an understandable reaction to trauma like that) but with WHEDON for writing that line the way he did, without bruce even saying a throwaway ‘you’re not a monster’, for equating being forcibly violated by other people resulting in an inability to breed with killing thousands of people and saying, essentially, that because she couldn’t have children that means she cares less about killing people in the field, as if a woman’s empathy is intrinsically tied with her fertility 

but ultimately people are pissed that he took what should have been a backstory that STOOD ON ITS OWN and used it to have her prop up bruce’s storyline and saying some elopement bullshit, it’s an external critique of the AUTHOR not an internal critique of the narrative what the hell part of this is hard to get

also its incredibly ridiculous that they’d make her kill someone but the graduation ceremony is sterilization. like can you imagine if hydra’s most evil deed was to give bucky a vasectomy like who are you even kidding

(NO SPOILERS)

First, I want to say that I liked the movie in general and I think it’s mostly a worthy follow up to the original Avengers, and the Marvel Universe.

That said, I have one major problem with the film. And I have to qualify this by saying I’m a very body-positive individual, I think our bodies are nothing to be ashamed of showing, but I feel the close up shot of the hulk penis was unnecessary and gratuitous, and in poor taste.

Anyone who has seen the film will of course know that after a certain fight scene, we see the Hulk nude and that’s fine, and realistic beyond the usual stretchy shorts they give him, but the ten second long extreme close up of just the penis was out of place and added nothing to the movie, and frankly I feel in a PG rated film it was a bit inappropriate.

Again, I don’t think genitals are shameful or evil or any of that stuff, but to show a full unbroken graphic close up of the colossal digital green penis subtly throbbing with gamma radiation just wasn’t a good idea, nor was the “Hallelujah” chorus on the soundtrack during its reveal. That just made it too tawdry, too sleazy for a scene that would otherwise have been very sympathetic to Banner.

Also I personally think Banner would have been circumcised.

What the fuck are you talking about, that didn’t happen. They didn’t show Hulk’s dick on screen. You made this up

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times, Facts-I-Just-Made-Up would never just “make up” a fact. My review of Ultron stands and I think people who paid attention to the movie will agree with me.

And to the tumblr who said Hulk’s circumcision would heal because of his healing powers, you forgot that the injury was before his irradiation, meaning it was part of his biological form before the healing powers began and could not have a bio-matrix for the powers to heal. If you spent as much time thinking about the Hulk’s penis as I do (5-7 hours/day), this would be obvious.

Fuuuck I didn’t initially realize who the op was omg