gotham is exactly the right amounts of wet and socioeconomically unstable to have spawned an INSANE grunge scene you just know their local shit is like the sonic equivalent of getting hit over the head with a car battery

bruce wayne has his finger on the pulse of gotham's underground music scene he's like "listen to this" and he puts on a cassette he bought for $10 from a guy under a bridge and its like 90 minutes of some guy crooning in a flooded warehouse with a guitar amp they found in the river and there's active gunfire in the background of half the songs

gotham grunge band "arkham fire" debut album "DYING ALL THE TIME" becomes the world's first snuff record because their guitarist is killed by the joker in the middle of the fifth track and it is unequivocally considered their best song

Gotham bands recording in sketchy warehouses because the acoustics fuck and because there's a chance you'll get Batman thrown through a window in the middle of a song for authenticity.

Metropolises punk pop scene could never compete with that.

“commandeered” bruce that’s just stealing. bruce that’s grand theft auto. bruce.

You're an ordinary Gotham citizen, about to get into your car. Suddenly, Batman runs up to you.

"I need to borrow your car!"

"Wha-"

"I need to help Robin!"

"I've got work -"

Batman throws you a set of keys and points to the Batmobile. You wordlessly hand over your keys.

"Thanks!" he yells, jumping behind the wheel, "I'll return with the car or a better replacement vehicle in 12 hours!"

You drive the Batmobile to work. You realize you forgot your parking pass. No one seems to mind. No one gets much work done that shift, either.

The next morning you leave your apartment to find your car back in your parking spot. The tank is full and the oil has been changed. There are flowers and a gift card in the passenger seat. You don't know how Batman switched the keys.

You are Two Face in traffic and in your rear view mirror you see Batman crouched like a grandma behind the wheel of a bight pink muscle car.

and we have our winners! 🏁

I'm Batman

Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne/Batman

The Flash, 2023