#D&D

nudityandnerdery

How about I seduce the goblin with my shaved 6-pack

outofcontextdnd

-A werewolf named Chad

elsajeni

how… what is… did you just have this art lying around?? was it in a box labeled In Case Of Goblin Seduction 6-Pack Joke Break Glass? apparently this is a Magic card and I have a lot of questions for Magic: The Gathering right now

lordsoth42

I can never remember this card’s real name because everyone just calls it “Abs of Treason”

aeriktirel

The card name is “Enthralling Victor”. It has a ‘spiritual sequel’ card in terms of artwork called “Captivating Crew”, drawn by the same artist:

image
dealingwithaces

Abs of treason

ABS OF TREASONthey would go well with the sideburns of deceptionD&D
mikeofthenorth
vigarath

Size comparison of Y’gathok, the Ceaseless Hunger and Bjorn, our level 20 Goliath Barbarian.

professorsparklepants

Hey quick question: why the FUCK do you have that

strangestquarkwave

Imagine, from out of nowhere, your dm casually slapping this thing down on the table like any other encounter.

probablyottrpgideas

“Yeah, the fight will start in a sec, uh…I’ll give inspiration to whomever helps me get this fucking box out of my car.”

jelloapocalypse

Please watch this reveal video it’s kickass

creepsandcrawlers

FUCK ME  the reveal video

threefeline

“CHRIS??????”

tanoraqui

“Um, I don’t think our plan is gonna work.”

island-delver-go

Always reblog Y'gathok

miatasenpai

DM:*Pulls out Y’gothok* *Turns on “Open Your Heart” by Crush 40*

sensicalabsurdities

Wow that DM really goes above and beyond

please watch the reveal videoY'gathokD&D
airyairyquitecontrary-deactivat
kaycxpher

the road to el dorado when in the context of a d&d game is the most astounding and hellish streak of 1′s and 20′s

thatgirlonstage

“The people think that you’re gods, what do you do?”

“…we go along with it.”

“Roll performance.”

“…I got a one.”

“Your foot gets caught in the stirrup while you try to dismount from the horse. You look ridiculous.”

“Well I rolled a twenty.”

“…somehow, a volcano stops erupting on your cue. Everyone falls to their knees in awe.”

junkrat-the-junker-rat

“I roll to come up with an escape plan” 

“Alright roll”

“…I got a one”

“I try to convince the horse to break us out”

“Roll…animal handling?”

“I got a twenty”

critsd&d
airyairyquitecontrary-deactivat
creative-classpect:
“ dancetillyouredead:
“The party faced off against Shia Labeouf tonight. Giles got part of her cheek eaten, Dreya had a chunk of shoulder bitten off, and Umong had some arm ripped off then spat out in disgust. They’re all pretty...
dancetillyouredead

The party faced off against Shia Labeouf tonight. Giles got part of her cheek eaten, Dreya had a chunk of shoulder bitten off, and Umong had some arm ripped off then spat out in disgust. They’re all pretty mentally scarred, and Giles learned an important lesson that sometimes humans Eat People and sometimes orcs aren’t the bad guys. Next meeting, we venture into the Underdark. - DM

Source for the sheet

D&Dactual cannibal shia labeouf
percychekov-deactivated20180908
bemusedlybespectacled

Shrek makes infinitely more sense if you ascribe to the theory that everyone is a PC in an RPG, and Donkey’s player managed to avoid a boss battle by rolling a nat 20 to seduce the fucking dragon

waltersandmurdock

“I want to be a half-ogre.”

“What? You can’t. They’ve seen your picture, and you’re a human.”

“The ogre half is at night.”

highmachinegun

“Ok, now it’s time for the boss fight against Farquaad.”

“I have my dragon girlfriend eat Farquaad.”

“…you what?”

“I have my dragon girlfriend-”

“No, no, I heard you the first time. Look, I’m gonna roll a d20 and if it’s a 20 then the dragon will eat Farquaad.”
-dice sounds-

*pinches the bridge of his nose* “Ok, so the boss is fucking dead now.”

D&DShrekdammit
ginormouspotato
parisianqueen:
“ So last night, myself and another girl were asked to leave a D&D game, before it even started, because the DM (another woman) didn’t like how we looked. Both of us were made up, hair done, cute outfits, with a lot of pink D&D...
parisianqueen

So last night, myself and another girl were asked to leave a D&D game, before it even started, because the DM (another woman) didn’t like how we looked. Both of us were made up, hair done, cute outfits, with a lot of pink D&D accessories. She assumed we were very “feminine” so that we could flirt with all the guy players, and try to get advantages, or distract them. We were told we had to change into “normal” clothes (t-shirts or sweatshirts), and “uncake our faces”. We both left but became really good friends really quickly afterward.

I talked about this in a few select social media places after it happened, and something unexpected started when I woke up this morning. A lot of women had contacted me with stories of similar things, from both male and female DMs. It’s now 1:30PM here, and I’ve talked to 29 women, all with their own experiences that all fell under this particular umbrella.

Their experiences included:

- Being talked to like they’re a bimbo by everyone at the table.
- Having one or more guys at a table want to “help them” play, despite having even more game experience than they did.
- Being blatantly ignored by other female players.
- Having their character hit on endlessly by most of a table.
- Being hit on themselves, despite saying “no thank you” or showing obvious disinterest.
- Being touched a lot, either on the arm, shoulder, back, or in more inappropriate places by male gamers.
- Being told they’re “trying too hard to be a woman”, included trans women being told this by other women.
- Having the DM solely target their character in battles and with traps, after turning the DM down for a date or affection, and not stopping until the character is dead.
- Having it insisted upon them that they have to change their “girly” dice, bags, binders, clothing, etc to “fit in”.
- Being told they aren’t a “real nerd”, “real gamer”, “real geek”, “real fan” because they don’t fit the “look” — this is the most common one I heard.
- Being told by a table full of guys that their below-10 roll was in fact “rolling like a girl”.
- And of course, the “gold digger” argument. That a woman who glams herself up before a game is clearly only hunting for the nerdy guy who also makes a lot of money, and who is pretending to like these things to get at his bank account. 12 separate women told me this one, each of them were kicked out of their games with this being the explanation. None of them dated or flirted with anyone at the table at any point.

The common theme here was that all of these were public play games, either at gaming stores, or at conventions. You have to sit at a table with people you don’t know, and one would expect at least common human decency here, but instead this sort of thing happens. It’s not okay for people to be treated this way by anyone, for any reason, and I was mortified by the sheer amount of women coming forward to share in such a short period of time.

So I worked away at this picture, as I express myself in really dumb fashion sketches. 

It’s the club jacket for our Glam Girl Gamer Gang. 

Girls of all types, from all backgrounds, all sizes, all places in life deserve to be respected as a fellow player. THIS INCLUDES ALL GIRLS WHO LIKE “STEREOTYPICALLY FEMININE” THINGS.

IT IS FUCKING 2017 WHY IS THIS STILL AN ISSUE YOU DINGBATS

D&Dfeminism
nudityandnerdery
cattgirl

d&d is great
I just tried to slam a guy with a two-handed maul and missed, swinging into the floor
I roll for damage against the floor bc of course I do. I roll high. The tiles are crushed to bits
As a free action, I grab a handful of floor gravel and shovel it into my mouth and straight up eat it in an intimidation attempt
My combat opponent is horrified. I get +2 to hit him next turn

D&D