The next time a Dracula adaption insists on Dracula falling in love with Mina it should be because of their shared interest of memorizing train schedules

November 1st

A deranged and exhausted-looking white haired British man, shining a giant fucking light on my boat while nervously fingering a kukri knife in a sheath at his belt: Hello yes my companion and I are official Romanian officials we are here to officially inspect your boat’s contents.

Me, a Romanian barge worker who does not want to die on a cold night in the middle of nowhere while shipping wool and turnips: Yes of course you are. Welcome aboard and take all the time you need, sirs.

The other British guy, also clearly packing heat, handing me a giant pile of money while the white haired guy furiously digs through my turnip crates: Thank you for your compliance with the Romanian Shipping Authority here is your official customary processing payment please say nothing of this encounter to anyone in port.

was bram stoker actually obsessed with trains

I think so, yes

Apparently while the descriptions of Romania are inexpertly cribbed from a travel guide, the Catholicism is largely invented, and occasionally loses track of moon phases, dates, and Lucy's hair color

All of the train schedules are 100% accurate

Thank you for this very important information, bless you

Jack: Damn, Van Helsing is a genius! He must be putting all of his brains to work on stopping the Count!

Van Helsing, internally: Life is like a hurricane, here in, Duck-berg 🎵

what if dracula's just stuck in the suez canal à la the ever given in 2021

Plot twist: Dracula is comfortably back home but has placed his coffin in a bathtub so that Mina will keep reporting being in water during sunset and sunrise

Dracula Daily is amazing not just because it breaks the book up into tiny bites and then sends it to you like a little surprise every morning, but also because its a book club where if i fall behind i dont get to enjoy the memes :( Ive never been more motivated to read in my life

Jonathan: For her I too will become a creature of the night, away from God's salvation and light

Mina "I refuse to lose in a gothic romance competition" Harker: You, my dearest, will I hope read the Burial Service, for then it will be in your voice in my memory for ever

Jonathan Harker: Packidge?? PACKIGE?!?