There, there. Why don’t you run along and play, Frank?

Spaghetti westerns only wish they were sultry jazz westerns.

Why couldn’t the monkey arrange this inside the garbage can?

After he retired, Hayes founded the original ZZ Top with James Garfield and Chester Alan Arthur, then shocked the world with a publicity stunt when (on a bet) he made a tent out of the underwear of William Howard Taft and lived inside for a full year. Well, he did.

Oh, and lose the Ringo hat.

Welcome to the Simulator of PAIN, Emily.

Come on, Mike. Go talk to her, at least! You gotta admit you haven’t touched a woman since the Carter administration. 

He’s still not done bundling up.