MY GOD THIS SONG IS ABSOLUTELY GENIUS!!!! IF ANYONE NEEDS A SUMMARY OF RED DWARF- LINK THEM TO THIS!!!

allsortsofsmeg have you seen this video before? 

FUCKING AMAZING!!

thank god someone else has now seen it! i though i might have been the only person who thought i was brilliant!!! :D i wish i was as talented!

I always wonder how does it even possible to make something like this! just incredible!

I kinda want to learn the whole lyrics to it cuz it is literally the best thing ever and needs to be covered xD

aw yiss!

Holy smeg! This is brilliant!

totally having been singing it nonestop since i found it! im so happy that it has burst into popularity like it has now :D

Noise from the Dwarf- Full Lyrics

(Feckles, Heckles, Hackles, Schmeckles)
(One in trouble, all in trouble! - THE POSEY!- BOYS FROM THE DWARF!)

Stoke me a clipper, I’ll be back for Christmas!   Oh my god, it’s going to kill us!
Full of goodness, vitamins, maribone jelly   No, just a bit of Bangalore belly
Obscene phone call, I think it’s for you   They’re tying him to a stake- it’s Winnie the Pooh
Do you have anything to say?   J-O-Z-X-Y-Q-K
Poly-dri-doc-deca-he-head-dron Hex-asex-adro-adicon Diavide-doly-he-deca- do-dron

Strike a light, it’s Gordon!    Small off duty, Czechoslovakian traffic warden!
Today is a day for both sadness and joy   All of the curry supplies have been destroyed
Trout a la crème, enjoy your meal    Abandon shop, this is not a daffodil!
Could you spot him in a parade?    Not a matter for discussion, the decision has been made!

It’s coming true, it’s all coming true (x2)
Oh look a bit of poppadom!     And one triple thick condom!
He was a hand-picked special agent for the space corp.   We don’t ever have existed here anymore
How do you plead?    Rasputin I am very cross indeed!

Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast!     *burping* Class!
I’m wearing all of my coolest clothes     I wouldn’t even know how to make the nose
For entertainment? He irons sneezes     Bet you see them as some alien species?
You were doing something crazy with crystals!  Shutting down all non-essential systems

Somebody save us, before I wet me kecks!    That’s the kind of cash that opens anyone’s legs!
In 3 million years you’ll be dead   Die screaming with sharp things in your head
Would you like a toasted tea cake?   Sir, I’m a mechanoid for goodness sake
Feel like I’m hungry    There’s food in here!
Dimension Skid- happens a lot this time of year.  (Time of year x16)

Change of plans, LEG IT!    Lister, I’ve seen better plans in an Air Fix kit.
Do I ever find my singing tie pin?    Screw his appeal, I want to see skin!
You absolutely insist on using erotic persuasion to achieve your devious ends
It’s fatal; it happens. DOESN’T MEAN WE CAN’T BE FRIENDS!

Stoke me a clipper, I’ll be back for Christmas!    I was only away 2 minutes!
Follow the Rimmer shaped blur!    I believe the gentleman’s name is Rimmer, sir.
They broke my leg (x2)   (Better x4) dead then smeg
Oh I forgot, I haven’t told you the news    I wouldn’t use this to buff my shoes!

Home? And where exactly is home supposed to be?     Well er, let’s come back to that one shall we?
I say let’s get out there and twat it!     Well it can’t have been that important then, can it?
Developing fluid- it must have mutated.    Don’t you ever feel tense or frustrated?
The light that burns half as bright, burns four times as long    Totally, utterly, completely wrong!

No bodily remains, no skeletons- zip.    All in all 100% successful trip!
Welcome my children- we bring you bombs and tinctures    Hang on- what’s wrong with this picture?
It’s the cockpit dummy!    Jim, Bexeley- Come to mummy!

Stoke me a clipper, I’ll be back for Christmas    Strike a light, you’re a genius!
Don’t eyeball me Gandhi!     What about sex? - Not here, it’s too sandy.
I didn’t want to mess up my hair    We’ve been reading that fire exit sign over there
I want names, I want places, I want dates.  600 years ago- we used to be your shipmates.

Stoke me a clipper, I’ll be back for Christmas   There is something you could do for us
Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast    Fine, something sensible at last
Stoke me a clipper, I’ll be back for Christmas    I haven’t got the software to cope with this.
Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast    Two weeks PD Lister- dismissed.
Stoke me a clipper, I’ll be back for Christmas    Aha, ah ha ha ha haggg

Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast    Make love to us
Stoke me a clipper, I’ll be back for Christmas    Make love to all of us

You’ve got your body back- leave me alone    Look out Earth, the slime’s coming home!

(There may be a few mistakes because I wrote up this myself, but I hope this helps if you wanted to sing along like me xD)

YEAAAAH!!

Cannot express how happy I am that when, on a whim, I googled “Rasputin I am very cross indeed”, THIS is what the internet coughed up.