Julian Bashir is the most ridiculous person.

 this is what I’ll be jamming in your urethra this afternoon!

oh crikey, it’s not even tapered

Psht, just work up to it. He’s a doctor; he knows what he’s doing.

NOTHING SHOULD EVER BE JAMMED INTO A URETHRA.

especially not with jam on it

Garak, I believe you and I have a dinner date tonight and I’ll show you just how “sonic” this screwdriver is