Archer: What was it weird because we kissed?
Lana: That was weird and also, not a real kiss. And also, never happening again!
Archer: Oh, oh I get it, you're not into guys.
Lana: Okay, so just because I don't want to bang you, automatically I'm a lesbian?
Archer: Yes. Well, that and your Hulk hands.
Lana: I. do. not. have...
Archer: She-Hulk, then. Whatever.
Lana: Ar...Bob?!
Archer: What, Jennifer Walters? Alter-ego of She-Hulk?
Archer: I'm serious, you are literally draining the life out of me.
Pam: C'Mon you make me sound like some sort of Chupacabra, but for dicks.
Archer: A terrifying yet, accurate description. Where'd you learn all that stuff.
Pam: You know I grew up on a farm, right?
Archer: Really hoping that's not relevant.
I think I had one more drink…
For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now, at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon, Amen.
Sterling Archer
What Lana? What’s more romantic than a dildo party/murder?
It’s like seeing the face of God!
What’s that? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of my plan working!
Sterling Archer
Ow! Eat a dick, jungle…cover it with malaria and leeches, sprinkle some dengue fever on it AND EAT A BIG GODDAMN JUNGLE-Y DICK!
Mallory: And where do you think *you're* going?
Archer: Sorry, I gotta get to Earth before the Stargate closes.
Mallory: Get back in here!
Archer: Mother the chevrons are locking!
