#TAZ Balance

spockvarietyhour nudityandnerdery
emiko-matsui

concept: taako in faerun but it's tony hawk

-

kid: are you taako?

taako: i am

kid: no you're not

taako: ok, i'm not

kid: but are you, FOR REAL

taako: i am for real

kid: i thought you'd be prettier

taako: ME TOO

-

tsa agent, checking his id: taako, like that guy who saved the world taako

taako: exactly

tsa agent: cool, i wonder what he's up to nowadays

taako: this

-

taako: [at the rental wagon agency, can't find his name on the monitor, goes inside, waits in line & finally gets up to the front]

agent: you really are taako

taako: yeah, i looked for my name on the list outside but couldnt find it

agent: i deleted it because i thought it was fake

-

guy at fantasy costco: do you ever get mistaken for taako? or are you taako?

taako: both!

-

guy, in line at fantasy starbucks: my friend says you're famous, is that true?

taako: depends on your definition of fame

guy: will your name show up if i fantasy google it?

taako: yes

guy, typing into phone: you are tacos?

-

tsa agent, staring intently: i'm trying to figure out who you look like before checking your id

taako: ok

tsa agent: that cyclist, armstrong

nearby agent: that ain't lance armstrong

taako: he's right

tsa agent: oh you look like that guy who saved the world [checks id] and have the same name too, crazy

taako: crazy

-

woman nearby after a guy asks for an autograph: i don't know who you are

taako: i don't expect you to

woman: what have you done

taako: i saved the world

woman: are you from raven roost?

taako: no i'm from new elfington

woman: so you're not the guy with the sideburns that killed the hunger?

nudityandnerdery

Taako: At a skatepark, older dude outside the fence sees me and yells (heckles) “do a kickflip!” So I did one. He then turns to his friend and says: “holy sh!t, he actually did it”
Magnus: Did you find this humiliating or liberating?
Taako: I was just happy to make it first try.

TAZ BalanceTaakoTony Hawk
spockvarietyhour nudityandnerdery
npdsquidward

Griffin: Yeah, you climb the stairs, and uhh… it is, uhh, an uneventful climb to the 20th floor. And uh, as–

Travis: Floor 20!

Griffin: As– what?

Justin: [snorts]

Travis and Justin: Floor 20!

[3 whole seconds of unedited silence]

Griffin: We’re not gonna say anything better than that, like–

Travis: Griffin, we gotta fight some weeds at Floor 20.

Griffin: We have 30 more minutes to go, and we’re not gonna say anything better than that.

Clint: [laughs]

Griffin: Did you even think about that?

momnar

In honor of it being 4/20 today, I feel it’s only appropriate.

TAZ Balance
spockvarietyhour droidmom
howtotrainyournana: “ seveneyeddeer-art: “ “And you see fireworks, wild orange and yellow and pink flares combusting within that fiery mass, filling the tendril with white hot light. And an explosion tears through the room, climbing that tendril up,...
seveneyeddeer-art

And you see fireworks, wild orange and yellow and pink flares combusting within that fiery mass, filling the tendril with white hot light. And an explosion tears through the room, climbing that tendril up, and up, and up into the heavens, but you feel the heat and power of that explosion weave masterfully around you, leaving your party, and not the remaining enemies in the room, completely unharmed. And when the light fades, the column and the shadowy beings who climbed out of it are gone, and hovering where it once stood is Lup, phantasmal and resplendent, her outstretched palms still coated in flame.

Was re-listening to Story and Song recently and felt like drawing one of my favorite scenes

howtotrainyournana

@ceslatoil

TAZ Balance
spockvarietyhour kiranerys-deactivated20211227
tazdelightful

[ID: a photoset of digital sketches depicting several TAZ characters as Animal Crossing characters. The first image is a three panel comic. Barry is dressed in a bowtie and argyle sweater vest, holding a book. He smiles, asking “Oh! Would you like to donate something to the museum?” The second panel depicts Lup, smiling sweetly and holding a bug catching net in one hand, and a butterfly in her other open palm. Barry recoils in horror saying, “Oh GOD another one.” The next image depicts Merle and his children Mavis and Mookie, each smiling and wearing aprons. The next image is a chest-up drawing of Davenport in airplane pilot attire. The last image depicts Taako reeling in a giant sun fish. It flies through the air above his dumbfounded face, and casts a shadow over him. End ID.]

In the blupjeans group chat we were talking about Animal Crossing AUs because, well why not: Museum curator Barry, Merle and his kids as the Nooks, Davenport as the DAL (Davenport Airlines) pilot, and also, Taako fishes. (Not an exhaustive AU yet obvs!)

Hope you all are finding fun things to fill your brain with! <3

awwAnimal CrossingsTAZ Balance
spockvarietyhour nudityandnerdery
thatgirlonstage

I’ve been working on this for months and the truth is I could continue to add to it forever but I want you all to enjoy it with me

friendlydinosaur

transcript:

Griffin: [as Jenkins] A witch kissed me and cursed me so that anytime anybody yells a secret word, I have to attend to their every need, and that word is my fucking name, Jenkins.
Justin: [snickering]

G: Are you naming your goddamn wizard Taako?

G: Oh- shit. Oh, god, oh, god, where’d it go, oh no, no, no!

G: If possible, I would love to- to avoid a shitting-based solution? Uh, A, because I don’t want to know what exists beyond the explicit tag in iTunes? [Justin laughs] I don’t- like, is there a fucking NC-17 rating? I don’t wanna- I don’t think I wanna be a part of that. But also-
Justin: [crosstalk] Hey!
G: I would also not like this scene to drag on out as long as- as a human being’s digestive cycle.

G: [background laughter] Fun show, fun show games!

G: And I think I just described a plant orgasm. And this has been Fifty Shades of Green [Clint laughs], starring four idiots.

G: So the end of that sentence that you cut off was- and I- so I won’t be able to put up with any shit today, but the problem is I already have? Now people will stop tweeting about me that I said one of Barry’s favorite things is swimming in a cold lake on a hot day, and then in two episodes later say he didn’t know how to swim.

G: ‘Kay, you and the box both drink POISON! And you survive, but the box has died.
Clint: That means it’s open, right?
G: Yes, with that the box pops open and it has 900 gold pieces inside.
Everyone: Yeah! [cheering]

Travis: I get it.
Justin: Damn, that’s a good door!
G: No, it’s- [yelling] let me finish describing what happened to the door! I’ve been trying to tell you what happened to the door for like ten minutes!

Travis: I tap it with the Glutton’s Fork and I swallow it.
Justin: [muffled wheezing]
Griffin: What the fuck!

Griffin: [laugh-crying] You’re gonna turn him into a man tube? [wheezing] You- you’re gonna turn him into a bag or a shelf with the rock sitting on it-

Griffin, loudly: What the fuck?! [audience laughter]
Travis: Double damage is- 4 and 3 plus 4 and 1.
Griffin: I didn’t give Marvey HP!

Griffin: Is the stapler in here? Anyone want the fucking stapler?

Griffin: Oh, Jesus, you love this shit! [Travis, crosstalk: I’m sorry-] It’s your- You’re a fucking pervert! Fetish- you’re exposing everybody to your fetishes!
Travis: I’m so sorry!

Griffin: Uh- it is an uneventful climb to the twentieth floor. And, uh- as-
Travis: Floor twenty!
Griffin: as- as- What?
Justin and Travis: [snickering] Floor twenty!
Griffin: [pause] We’re not gonna say anything better than that-
Travis: Griffin, we have to fight some weeds at floor twenty.
Griffin: We have thirty minutes to go, and we’re not gonna say anything better than that. Did you even think about that?

Justin: I grow bored with this fight. [laughter]
Griffin: Okay. [crosstalk]
Justin: I’m- I’m casting polymorph on myself-
Griffin: Oh, fucking- wow.
Justin: Griffin, I’m texting you- [Griffin: oh]because you’re going to need this information.
Griffin: Oh my god, Justin.
Justin: Yes.
[Wonderland music starts]
Griffin: Taako’s arms sink into his chest, so that he’s just got, sort of, little arms, and his head gets really big, and really long, [Clint laughs] and his teeth get very sharp, and he grows a tail, and he turns into a tyrannosaurus rex.

Griffin: [yelling] Oh, NO! Are you keeping track of how many times you rolled as well?
Clint: [crosstalk] To be honest the educational system in Huntington, West Virginia sucks-
Travis: Twenty-five! Twenty-five! Four, four! Twenty-five! Twenty-seven! [overlapped with Justin]
Griffin: it’s dead- STOP! Stop! You’re killing him!
Travis and Justin: Thirty! Thirty-six!
Griffin: Stop! He’s already dead!
Travis: One more, one more, one more- [Clint: C'MON!]
Travis and Justin: Thirty-seven! [A pause as the audience laughs]
Travis: His parents feel it!
Griffin: You fucking- you fucking- this turtle’s- this turtle’s parents-
Travis: [crosstalk] Is that where the turtle’s brother dies?
Griffin: -forget about him. This turtle was a successful turtle author, and the words on his books fucking vanish. [audience laughter] You have erased this turtle from existence.

Travis: But my butt-
Griffin: [yelling] Come on, I’m in hell! [crosstalk] I’m dead and in hell now! You opened the door! You built the fucking door! Out of wood! Shitwood! Shame on you and shame on us!

Justin, as Taako: Garfield?
Griffin, as Garfield: Yes?
Justin: I have something I think is really going to interest you.
Griffin: [yelling out of character] OH MY GOD!
Justin: This is the Slicer of T'pire Weir Isles [background laughter] and I notice that you have a really cool sword. It’s a Flaming, Poisoning, Raging Sword of Doom, I believe it’s called.
Griffin: Oh my god…
Justin: And- I’m looking at your entire stock and it does seem to me that’s your most valuable posession, would you say that’s accurate?
Griffin: [laughter, as Garfield] Yes, it’s absolutely the most valuable thing in the store!

Griffin: [very tired] I didn’t expect it to go like that. [audience laughter] Um- and-
Travis: What did you expect to happen?
Griffin: [yelling] For you to catch a fucking fish in my fish mini game! [audiene cheers] Is that so- Am I out of my mind? Is that an unreasonable expectation? To give them a fucking fish mini game- Taako makes the lake float, Travis jumps in with a rapier, like, “let’s get it done!” and Dad makes, the- the fucking shit teleport away! [audience laughter]
Clint: Welcome- welcome to The Adventure Zone, Griffin.

moonlandy

image
image
alicedaisytonner

[Image Description: screenshots of griffin on the my brother my brother and me tv show where he’s talking to his brothers. he is saying, “teens are very much into the following: bullying me on Tumblr.” End Description]

TAZ BalanceGriffin McElroy