#TAZ Balance

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felicitywild

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The Holy Trinity

felicitywild

Davenport: […] However, we do have a security officer on the ship, Magnus Burnsides. Maybe you could answer this one.

Travis: And Magnus like flips his cool guy fantasy shades and he’s like:

Magnus: Yeah, what? Uh, what’s the—

Travis: I can’t remember the voice!

Magnus:  Yeah, what’s the question? What did you want— what was it? Sorry I wasn’t paying attention.

[a long pause]

Griffin: … You asked it.

Travis: Oh, yeah, I did!

[laughter]

—

Duck: You didn’t really put any boundaries and, like, that’s the thing that I would like is a jet pack, and I feel like I could make use of it. I thought about enchanting Beacon, but he probably wouldn’t even let me.

Beacon: [long pause] Yesss…

Justin: I was waiting for Beacon to respond.

[laughter]

Travis: God, we’re all on a certain meta-level today! Hands raised. Waiting for our own character to respond to us.

Justin: [imitating a therapist] Is Beacon there, Justin?

[Travis laughs]

Justin: [imitating a therapist] Can I talk with Beacon?

[Clint and Justin laugh]

—

Griffin: Barclay comes back downstairs and says, 

Barclay: I— Ned’s not anywhere. I don’t see Ned anywhere. I don’t see the laptop anywhere, either, Mama, are you sure you left it up in the office? 

[brief silence]

Griffin: And Mama— oh, I forgot I was Mama. 

[laughter] 

Justin: Well, Mama? Mama?? 

Travis: Mama? Oh god, she’s gone!

Courtesy of @tazscripts

aubreylikesgirls

[IMAGE ID: screenshot of a tumblr post. first, from ungarmax: “underrated moment of taz: the ipre press conference when the boys are asking questions as reporters and travis asks magnus a question and magnus says, ‘sorry, i wasn’t paying attention, what was the question?’ and everyone going perfectly silent because travis forgot he had asked himself a question.” second, from starkeaton, “see also: that one time justin forgot he also voiced beacon and was waiting for him to respond.” finally, from ducksbellorum, “the holy trinity: griffin: ‘mama? … oh wait i’m mama’” END ID]

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ironicallyxspiders

I know TAZ has some completely epic lines that resonate with people like the “I saw seven birds” speech and “Our capacity for love increases” speech but what’s everyone’s favorite stupid line that for some reason lodged in your head beyond the others I’ll start 

Mine is when Taako and Barry are talking in the Beach Episode and Taako says “Barold… Barold…. I rolled an Eleven Barold, you have to tell me.”

riotrogers

“The late Merle Highchurch rolled a five”

bridgesquid

Griffin: “Are you using the umbrella like Mary Poppins-style? You don’t need to.”
Justin: “Oh, natch. And I don’t need to. For sure. But I deffo am.”

shakespearesocks

“I can fuck any onion I want!”

transguypeterparker

“the memory of my grandfather’s name died long before i was born”

dawhitebag

“hot diggity shit that is a baller cookie”

urbanisticdaydream

“How do you not have a d6 it comes with every game?!” “My daughter…” “Eats them for power????”

puffbadgersandbees

“You haven’t seen this ass!”

timeforlupsopinion

“what’d you do merle?” “laid down in the road”

justnevilledup

“When’d you go soft? Huh? When’d you go soft? When we were growin’ up- we were growin’ up together, in the streets. Out there, in the streets of Goldcliff, You were never soft. You saw- you saw a dead bird, you- you’d step on it. You’d say, ‘I hate birds!’ You were- you had, no heart. Heartless Hank, we called you. Was it Hank? Remind me what your real name is, ‘cause I  can only remember the great nicknames I’ve given you over the months.”

lunarinterludes

Don’t think! SMACK!

cometodeltaako

“Between this fan and this fancy sunbrella, I’m one seventeen inch waist away from Scarlett O'Hara”

spacetrashpile

“I smile at her gently, and I sing: Hello/My name is Elder Merle/And I would like to share with you this most amazing book.”

“Okay. She brings the shovel down directly on your head.”

“It’s called/Extreme Teen Bible/It will solve all your problems/Do you wanna take a look?”

“Clinton, you just got clocked by a shovel.”

thetimebreak

“That’s CLINT MCELROY the loser janitor!”

“Clint McElroy, who BELLIGERENTLY REFUSES TO DO A CHARACTER VOICE depsite making his living off of doing so for forty years.”

sparkledragons

“i actually go long times without killing anyone”

“it’s ok we all have dry spells… beat a man to death with your bare hands…”

questbedhead

“Wait, do you guys wanna leave? If you guys wanna leave, we can just leave. Do you wanna leave the cell? ‘Cause we can just— do you guys just wanna leave? I thought we were playing it cool. Like, we can just leave.” 

anais-ninja-bitch

“abracafuckyou” is a spell i have employed to deal with my extended family.

spockvarietyhour

“My Beautiful Body!” 

TAZ BalanceSometimes things are just background noise....and sometimes a phrase just snaps you out of it and you laugh for five minutes