Zach is uncharacteristically cooperative and understanding in this episode. He’s been a moody child so far, alternating between belligerent, stupid, and moping but here he’s actually warm and communicative

Betcha that’s not gonna last (it doesn’t).

In Washington we see that the public is distracted enough and the government bogged down enough that getting any real action in New York is going to be a challenge 

Gus’ story meanwhile is stalled, he was absent the last episode and here he’s just doing some deliveries, listless. I’m sure there’s a point coming and we see how everyday people are coping with this but it’s not too compelling rn

Did I mention Eph’s friend who’s part of the Liev Schrieber face fan club?

let’s have one more look at Eph and the novelty that is his shaved head and bulging vein

(you don’t want to know what else of his is bulgingor veined)

Quinlan, introduced in the last ep shows he’s not your average vamp, with walking in sunshine and talking down to the elder vamps, the bone handle sticking out looks cool tho

If there’s one thing that gives a sense of dread and foreboding is when things are going too well. Eph’s got support from a pharmaceutical company for mass production and the military for deployment 

you know something’s gonna gum up the works.

Heeeere’s Johnny!

Mama Cass is making herself known and Zach’s about to become an idiot again for the next couple of episodes

Oh, I forgot to talk about the big ado about Reggie Fitzwilliams. Reggie’s had a crisis of conscience and left the longtime employ of his boss Palmer, who practically raised him and only recently aligned himself with Setrakian and the others. Unfortunately turns out we no longer have time for Reggie so he gets bitten and decapitated.

Sorry Reggie, I really thought we were headed somewhere with your story. Even gave you an FDNY brother and everything. Oh well.

Surprising no one things go to shit in Washington and Eph loses his PharmaLover, his drinking buddy all in one fell swoop

Fortunately the contract killer has poor aim and Eph somehow kills him and the show goes on.

But the best is saved for last. Crispy Master chooses Bolivar over Eichorst as his new host and the look on Eichorst’s face is amazing

(tears for years)

Wouldn’t be a Master Passover without old master blowing chunks into Bolivar

NewMaster tries to ride on Eph’s coattails and gets rid of his wig also

But thankfully, still voiced by Robin Atkin Downes, aka Byron

at ep 8 at work but here’s ep 5

This week we start with SWAT going door to door, but they’re only superficially prepared

I mean they’ve got tactics down so that always helps, plus they’ve duct-taped their gloves and I assume other extremeties

although you’d think they’d go full hazmat but then again that could restrict movement/visibilty. Anyway they ain’t prepared for the spiderkids

Like this guy here, “Mr I only got bit in the leg” doesn’t even know he’s a goner

Anyway the intro was nice, again two different cold openings in a row and I like it.

Setrakian meanwhile threatens some drug/gun/ancient evil text runners

so that’s business as usual. And Eph finally decides do drink and shave

HALLELUJAH

THE WIG OF SHAME IS GONE

Fet who was arrested last week for blowing up a subway tunnel is doing fine for himself and gets released

I assume this is the eastern european stereotype poker table, give em the ole shine smile tho

Eph boogies on out to washington and people can’t help but comment on his dome, like how do we reconcile that terrible wig with the shape of your head?

Fet, Kowalski and Dutch on a bug hunt

Monster in my closet, Vampire in my wall

How to look sexy pulling the pin off a silver grenade

Eph meets his old boss on the train to DC…

…with predictable hilarious results

(RIP spineless weasel)

Elsewhere on the ew side of things, were headed down the path of octogenarian sex.

The Silver Angel was a superior ep, we start tongue firmly in cheek with a cheesy 50s mexican wrestling movie:

with yes vampires:

and holy cross boxing gloves

creepy smile from 60s era Eichorst

This kid hiding in a ray of sunshine

The ever wandering Gus goes back home and is surprised to find out that his mom he couldn’t kill is still there

and kinda judgy

The whole “Found footage” scene with the news reporter mistaking vamps for protesters was perfect

down to more judgment, this time from Bolivar

Finally fet, getting to blow something up with dynamite

A good ep all in all, We see the dissolution of the Setrakian/Palmer partnership, get some mythology going and the Silver Angel.

Still recapping the first five here’s some highlights:

I’m glad Bolivar is still around and that, out of the original four was allowed to retain his sentience I mean he’s already got the wig and loves mayhem

just a reminder that I guess it’s too expensive to shoot in New York so Toronto doesn’t mind

Vaun doing his best Mr. Burns:

Worm Eyedrops. ew. 

Eichorst being his usual dickish self

Casual reminder that some Staten Islanders want to become a state. By any means necessary

And someone looks not a day over 70…

The UV light trap was pretty cool and unexpected at Palmer’s office:

Kinda makes you think he was prerparing for the day the vamps would betray him

or vice versa. So I guess that’s it for Vaun’s mercs. 

So we’ve now got Kelly and her funky bunch

deciding who’s naughty and who’s nice

Young Eldritch is kinda cute, kinda snooty

Young Setrakian isn’t that bad either

Meanwhile the wooing of miss Marchand continues

speaking of wooing Fet and Dutch is coming along, down to some skinny dipping

and some Fet butt

Random Crystal Skull

LaCroix shows up, a veteran of another vampire show:

And a meeting of titans, old palmer and setrakian meet up

Goodbye LaCroix, hope we see vampire you