hey my friends and I just all remembered the disney channel original movie “Luck of the Irish” exists so we found it and watched it (don’t do this) and it’s four messes and a half but at the end the main character challenges the enemy leprechaun to a wager and says “if you lose, you’ll be banished to the land of my father, to spend eternity on the shores of Eerie” and the bad guy corrects him and says “Éire,” thinking he’d mispronounced the Gaeilge for Ireland,

and when he loses he’s like “I’m going back to my homeland, and I’ll gain power once again!” and the main character is like “no. My MOTHER is from Ireland. My dad’s from Cleveland.”

and the bad guy gets banished to live on the shores of Lake Eerie in Ohio forever and I’ve been thinking about that for like two weeks now

okay I’m just going to discuss this movie a little more because there’s a lot to say,

starting with: as the character begins his slow coming-of-age transformation into a leprechaun, he attends an Irish Heritage festival, where during a dance performance, he starts step dancing against his will. The entire scene is 100% framed exactly like a werewolf transformation scene, but with Irish Dance.

Absolutely no attempts were made to teach the actor a single actual step of any existing dance.

The plot begins with the main character’s school throwing a Heritage Day festival, and everyone is Extremely Focused on the fact that he doesn’t know where his family came from. He starts asking his parents, and they treat it like he’s figuring out they have mafia connections.

In terror, they repeatedly tell him “we’re from Cleveland!”

If they tell him one of his ancestors are from Ireland, it’s just too likely he’ll make the immediate leap to realizing he and his mom are literally leprechauns wearing glamours, as most Americans of Irish descent turn out to be,

It later turns out his mom has spent so long hiding all of this from him because she’s terrified that if anyone finds out she’s from Ireland, they’ll be discriminated against. The main character says “didn’t that only happen like, over a hundred years ago.”

Also they are established as having terrifying, unrivaled magical powers, like shapeshifting, time travel, and the ability to shift between planes, but the, and I quote, “Irish need not apply” signs in 1906 were apparently a really big problem despite all that.

Bringing us to the fact that his mom, and presumably he, are immortal. He never asks about this.

A lot of people compare this movie to “The Thirteenth Year,” another disney channel original, in which the main character finds out he’s been a mermaid all along and must reunite with his birth mother in the ocean, and I’d like to argue that that is an actually GOOD movie whereas “The Luck of the Irish” should have been left in the bowels of my past.

all this and no one is mentioning that the evil leprechaun is played by a young timothy omundson

Okay, that last update turned this from “Okay, wow, that’s a thing” to “Wait, holy WHAT?”

Thanks, coffeebuddha!