Hey sailor

Is it me or is one of my legs incredibly cold right now

Play it cool Jim, play it cool.

*GASPCANTBREATH*

Lady can I at least introduce myself before you start with the bodily fluids?!

Alien slackers have invaded the ship, unbeknownst to us they’re eating all out food, sitting on our favourite chair and opening all the medicine cabinets.

They forgot to water my plants!

Don’t worry babe, I got your back.