“Years ago a friend of mine had a dream about a strange invention; a staircase you could descend deep underground, in which you heard recordings of all the things anyone had ever said about you, both good and bad. The catch was, you had to pass through all the worst things people had said before you could get to the highest compliments at the very bottom. There is no way I would ever make it more than two and a half steps down such a staircase, but I understand its terrible logic: if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.”

— I Know What You Think of Me, Tim Kreider for the New York Times

after YEARS of seeing this quote online and finding it to be the most deeply and resoundingly profound writing i finally found the source article and absolutely nothing could prepare me for this opening paragraph

i’M READING ABOUT GOATS IN MYTHOLOGY/FOLKLORE AND I FOUND OUT IN THE MIDDLE AGES GOATS ‘WERE SAID TO WHISPER LEWD SENTENCES IN THE EARS OF SAINTS’ AND I JUST

NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE

I was wondering when people were going to realize that “you breed with the mouth of a goat” means “you talk dirty when you fuck.”

THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE OH MY GOODNESS

there is a website to find out how many goats you are worth

I am apparently worth eight goats and somebody’s brother.

I’m only worth 6. I feel validated in my lifestyle choices