“nooooooope.”

#i have SO MANY THOUGHTS about her reaction here#SO MANY#like#she’s capable of so much affection#and ALSO she’s known for her tact and skill in first contact situations#but she’s SO DNW in this scene#i find it very telling (said cosmic-llin)

#tell me ALL YOUR THOUGHTS bb (said mylittleredgirl)

Ugh, just, like, in spite of what her training is telling her about respecting other people’s customs and stuff in first contact situations, she can barely even pretend to be comfortable with this stranger-hugging, even though the rest of the crew seem fine with it. And it makes me wonder if being careful about physical touch is a consequence of dealing with constant mental touch. Like, she’s so surrounded by other people’s emotions at all times, so having tight control over when she physically touches people is maybe a coping mechanism? Like, you rarely see her touch people just casually the way Beverly does (except occasionally Riker). There’s always an intent when she touches someone, even when it’s affectionate.

Plus it really fascinates me how reserved she can be sometimes, especially in the earlier seasons. Like, she’s such a good communicator and she can be so friendly and charming but at the same time she holds herself apart a lot of the time and keeps this tight control of herself. I mean, when do you ever see her react strongly to an emotion that’s actually her OWN? Barely ever. When it’s her own emotions she minimises it, hides it, shrugs it off. And I think that’s partly her natural personality and partly a reaction to how visibly emotional her job often requires her to be. She wants the people around her to understand that when she is overwhelmed by emotions outside of herself, that is part of her job. And when it sometimes is too much, it makes her fear for the loss of her dignity in the eyes of her colleagues, so she compensates by being composed and restrained the rest of the time, at least until she knows that she can trust people to understand her.

Everybody look at my new favorite Deanna Troi meta right here thank you.

#YES YES YES#deanna troi#there is a strong reserved element in her especially early on#riker calls it ‘aristocratic’ which is kind of a dick move and yet you know she ~is~ betazoid royalty kinda#so i see where he gets it from#but i love everything you just said

<3

I mean, don’t even get me STARTED on that scene where Riker calls her aristocratic (NOT THE TIME DUDE), but yes, I actually find her noble (royal? some degree of fancy that remains unclear…? goddammit I wish they had been more specific this bugs me) background fascinating because, here she is growing up in this life of privilege, and yet because of her human heritage she lacks something that everyone around her has and considers fundamental. Like, I don’t think her reserve is because of her aristocratic status (hello Riker have you MET Lwaxana!?) but I think it could be partly a reaction to her discomfort and confusion at HAVING that status and yet being looked down on/not fitting in properly in those circles.

I think being from a noble house and with a powerhouse like Lwaxana surely being known by every single person little Deanna ever encountered explains a lot about how being mixed race is mostly a philosophical thing for Deanna, where K'Ehleyr is like “This is a life-long struggle and you have no idea what my excess hotel charges are for damaging furniture” and B'Elanna is like “I will literally force experimental genetic manipulation against medical orders on my own child.”

So really, Riker’s not wrong. Deanna’s financial/status privilege that prevented her from ever having to acknowledge her human side when she didn’t want to, so “The Loss” is in many ways the first time she needs to accept that she is part Human. I’m sure there are other half-Human Betazoids who feel genuinely handicapped throughout their lives because they lack that status.