You know how corn was selectively bred out of grasses, and bananas used to have tons of rocky seeds, and avocados used to be like 90% pit, and watermelons once looked

ALT

like this?

I think we should breed the pits out of mangoes

ALT

Yep. And that kind of watermelon itself is after centuries upon centuries of selective breeding!

The other above-mentioned fruits:

ALT

Teosinte, the ancestor of corn

ALT

A not-seedless banana

ALT

A wild, unaltered avocado

We need to do this with mangoes

Mangoes have pits to keep us humble. Without them we would fall to insatiable bloodlust for more mango.

Maybe I want to be a mangpire

Fructosferatu.