I cannot be captain, for you see, dear friends, I am unfit to lead other men into battle, into space, or in a line dance. I submit that if I pick my nose for a half an hour my head would cave in. I’m nary to know the distinction betwixt Shinola and that other stuff. I cannot lead because I cannot find my ass with both hands and a flashlight.

Tom Servo, on his incompetence (via hairpartedliketheredsea)