Party Bus

starfleet: we’re glad you’re home

starfleet: we’ve been reviewing your records

janeway: k when is my promotion

starfleet: what makes you think you’re getting a promotion

janeway: my future self told me all about it when she broke the temporal prime directive and brought me stolen future technology

starfleet: yeah so in that vein there are some things we need to discuss

janeway: if there’s a problem with the paperwork blame chakotay

janeway: i don’t do forms i do holographic irish bartenders and former borg drones

starfleet:

doctor: i can assure you that while in the delta quadrant we conducted ourselves with grace and dignity according to the highest principles of starfleet

b'elanna: yeah step off our balls you weren’t there you don’t know

tom: yeah you weren’t there that time we stole a keg of omega molecules from some douchebag aliens who were going to blow up the quadrant

harry: or that time we played space nascar and ended up in the center of a terrorist plot

tom: or that time we were all super horny and built a fake irish city so that we could get drunk and laid

harry: or when we tied that guy to a chair and waited for the aliens to eat him because he wouldn’t tell us what we wanted to know

tom: oh shit remember that time i got 30 days for ignoring the wishes of some foreign government and destroying their mining operation

harry: that was almost as crazy as the time you restored that old shuttle but then it fell in love with you and tried to kill b'elanna

b'elanna: speaking of which remember when that bomb i made for the maquis came back and tried to kill us

chakotay: that reminds me of when seska stole my dna and tried to impregnate herself with my child

tom: nothing will ever compare to the time me and the captain had kids and left them on that planet

janeway: we were young and innocent then

tom: how many lizard years to a human year i feel like i should send a birthday card

janeway: like 6

tom: you don’t even know you’re just saying that

janeway: you should talk you’re such an absent father

tom: oh no you didn’t

janeway: i didn’t even want kids

starfleet:

starfleet: is there a reason you stenciled PARTY BUS on the side of voyager

tom:

harry:

b'elanna:

doctor:

janeway: is there a reason i shouldn’t have