#russian doll

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“[Russian Doll] probably has a more clear cut, one-to-one addiction metaphor, as far as the idea is deeply personal to me of going from a very disconnected, removed life [where] self-destruction makes the only sense because my behaviors don’t impact the world around me to a character who is by circumstance forced to look at this other idea, which is she accidents into a more connected life [and] realizes people are real, including herself. This is, of course, a much more vulnerable place to be at than this pseudo-punk rock idea of, “Nothing means anything and I don’t care. No one can touch me and I can’t touch them.” Just as soon as it crystallizes that we are of this world, then we have to be participating members — including the discomforts of the injustices that are a part of the daily news cycle that will rock you with their horrors and make you not want to go on because it all seems like to much, to the realities of life’s arbitrary nature and fragility. … Life is full of these moments and I think it speaks to the universal themes of discomfort and curiosity of the experience of what it means to be a thinking, feeling person who’s having these kinds of colliding thoughts. … It’s a very human experience, as well, to wonder what it’s all about.”

— Natasha Lyonne on Russian Doll and existential crisis (Interview)

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Gotta get up, gotta get out, gotta get home before the morning comes
What if I’m late, gotta big date, gotta get home before the sun comes up.

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Natasha Lyonne On Being A ‘Tough Guy’ And Finding Herself Inside ‘Russian Doll’

Natasha Lyonne is a survivor. On the Netflix series Russian Doll, which Lyonne co-created and stars in, her character Nadia keeps dying and returning to life. Determined to figure out what is happening to her, Nadia relives the same day countless times, each time trying to steer events toward a different outcome.

It’s a premise that strikes a chord with the actor; Lyonne herself nearly died of drug-related problems in 2005. Now recovered, she says her past near-death experience helped her connect with Nadia’s struggle.

“My very real experiences wildly informed … these questions about life and death and what’s it all about,” she says.

Lyonne says her work on Russian Doll has given her a new perspective on her own past: “It feels like quite the opposite of something painful or vulnerable or terrifying,” she says. Instead, “that pain or that fear is a type of touchstone to ultimate growth, release and relief.”

She laughs, then adds, “Terry, the headline is 'Everything’s Fine Now,’ you know? I mean, people love Russian Doll, so the good days are upon us!”

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