https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jX5Bowpwjc

I watched the first two minutes anyway. It’s like watching series 2 of Look Around You except it’s real and it won’t end.

Also watching Mark Hamill talking about prequels and Luke at 5…we only dodged that bullet for about 20 years.

You should absolutely watch it from the beginning because there is so much to love.

0:00 How janky and wobbly the title text is. 

0:04 Exhausted dog lying at the feet of the presenters, no explanation.  (I know there are always pets on screen in the Blue Peter studio, they’re an important part of the show, but the fact that this segment begins with the dog already out for the count amuses me.)

0:05: Maroon Presenter introduces R2D2 and C3PO as “some of the most famous robots since the Daleks,” which I adore because while R2 and 3PO are probably far more famous worldwide than the Daleks are, for a specific demographic e.g. children watching Blue Peter in 1980, they are definitely johnny-come-latelies compared with them.  And here is a (very blurry and artifact-y) clip from Blue Peter in 1966 in which a lovely presenter called Val explains how to make a Dalek Tea.  The BBC’s Blue Peter website still presents instructions on how to decorate Dalek cupcakes.  I am utterly fascinated by the symbiosis between Doctor Who and Blue Peter (and the time on Ashes to Ashes when Gene Hunt inadvertently killed the goldfish in the Blue Peter garden pond).

0:07 Yellow and Blue Presenter isn’t allowed to speak during the intro, he just stands there looking peevish next to the exhausted dog.

0:20 R2D2 NEARLY RAN OVER THE DOG.  IT GETS UPSET AND LEAVES.  MAROON PRESENTER INEFFECTUALLY TRIES TO GET IT TO COME BACK.  IT DOESN’T WANT TO.

0:25 “No, R2D2, that’s very nasty of you.  (inarticulate noise) Hang on, just stop, stop.”

0:42 R2 goes for Yellow Presenter’s legs when he quotes C3PO calling him a malfunctioning little twerp.  Personally I think he’s just going for anyone so yellow.

I’m too lazy to timestamp things but MAROON PRESENTER SAYS 3PO SOUNDS LIKE A DALEK (3PO hasn’t even spoken to say hello while shaking hands, which is unusual both for a protocol droid and for someone as constitutionally incapable of shutting up as 3PO, and I wonder whether Anthony Daniels is in fact present) AND COMPARES THE TWO OF THEM TO “CRUSTY OLD MEN.”

“Hairy old Chewbacca” enters, also silently.  R2 is making intermittent noises but the other two appear to have been struck dumb.

Also, CHEWBACCA IS NUDE.  He’s not wearing his bandolier.  WHY ARE YOU NUDE ON CHILDREN’S TELEVISION, CHEWBACCA.  DID YOU AND HAN HAVE A BET THAT YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH THIS?

I hope that really is David Prowse, doing a Blue Peter appearance in full Darth Vader kit would be a very David Prowsey thing to do.

PLEASE LOOK AT HOW DESPERATELY UNCOMFORTABLE MAROON PRESENTER IS TO BE SANDWICHED BETWEEN CHEWBACCA AND DARTH VADER.

I WANT THE NICE LADY PRESENTER’S PINK OVERALLS WITH A BUTTERFLY PIN SO MUCH.  SO.  MUCH.  I also want her to fucking sit up straight.  Posture is so important for your overall health, not to mention you don’t want to be permanently bent double when you’re old.  Tired dog is back.

OH GOD I LOVE THAT CAT.

Why does Mark Hamill get to cuddle a pretty cat when Carrie Fisher just gets a terrapin?  She’s just sitting there holding it in her hand like a sandwich.  Of course, maybe they were allowed to take their pick of the studio pets before the camera rolled and she wanted to hold a terrapin.  I think more talk shows should give their guests cute animals to hold.  I mean, if they had any decent dogs it would mean Tom Hardy was suddenly on the show every week.  It could be a nice running joke.  “We’re not actually interviewing Tom Hardy this week, he just came in to see the dogs.”  Soon his presence is not even commented on, the camera just pans over him on its way to the host, sitting on the studio floor happily cuddling the dogs.  Any other guest who wants to hold a dog has to ask Tom Hardy’s permission.  If they are holding it poorly he will come over and interrupt the interview to correct their form.  Not unkindly.  He just wants the experience to be the best it can for both you and the dog.  Tom Hardy is like the Uncle Iroh of holding dogs.

LOOK AT CARRIE FISHER SCRUTINISING THAT TURTLE

Elspeth Bruford of Edinburgh invented Star Wars Stew and ensured her place in history.  IT’S GOT CHIPS IN IT.  THERE ARE CHIPS IN THE STEW.  That’s excessively Scottish.

What a weirdly hospitable TV appearance experience.  They not only give you a pet to hold, they feed you a stew with chips in it.