Basically this is full-on unfiltered id: a Laurell K. Hamilton novel illustrated by Hoshino Lily on a David Lynch’s Dune budget, perfectly cast — both the “appealingly chilled-out and game for ridiculousness” end (Kunis, Tatum, SEAN BEAN), and the “I thought the Oscar nomination was for Best Ham” end (Redmayne, various space royals). There are lizard men, fertility clinics, deadbeat Russian cousins, Alexander McQueen wedding dresses, Terry Gilliam space bureaucrats, Agent Carter’s Jarvis as a tragically dead dad who never ties back into the plot (this is fine as 0/10 subplots get resolved), and bees. I am the shoujo trash who spent 75% of the running time placing mental bets on what kind of wings sad werewolf-without-a-pack Channing Tatum had, and I was not disappointed. I saw this movie on Cineplex points, which I save up specifically for occasions when I desperately want to see a movie in IMAX 3D while being simultaneously unable to justify spending money on it, but it is probably worth the dollars just as a mid-February pick-me-up. 

My review blurb of Jupiter Ascending has an unusual number of notes; either ppl strongly agree with me or strongly look forward to agreeing with me. XD;