My eyes adjusted to the light. I wished they hadn’t. Lap dancing establishments don’t bring out the finest qualities in the male of the species. Lust looks great on a woman, but men just can’t wear it. Their eyes bulge. Their palms sweat. They salivate. their tongues dangle out. They look like village idiots catching flies. They look like someone’s stuck a straw in their ear and started sucking out their brains. Tell me now: do women find that dribbling gawping look attractive, or do they just put up with it?

Harry Salt, Incompetence